<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Infinite Ray by DepressedPrussia</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25612435">Infinite Ray</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DepressedPrussia/pseuds/DepressedPrussia'>DepressedPrussia</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bucky's Sisters, Other, Sacrifice, Time Travel, Trans Character</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:54:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,542</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25612435</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DepressedPrussia/pseuds/DepressedPrussia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After Steve leaves for the past at the end of endgame Bucky feels an immense weight on his shoulder. Being a trans man and missing the love of your life leads Bucky to make some tough decisions and sacrifices to be with Steve.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Infinite Ray</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After Steve went to return the stones but didn’t return yet turned up on a nearby bench in his 90’s . Bucky watched from a distance as Steve and Sam talked and Steve handed the mantle and shield over to Sam. Bucky felt his heart break ‘til the end of the line’ had apparently already hit and he was left behind in the future.</p><p>Over the next few days Bucky felt torn as he helped Sam learn how to handle the shield, he needed to tell Sam his secret. After a week Bucky made the decision that it would be best to admit everything to Sam if they were going to be working together. So during training one day he brought it up</p><p>“Hey Sam, can we talk?”</p><p>“Sure man, What’s up?”</p><p>“I have a secret that if we’re going to be working together that you need to know”</p><p>“What is it?”</p><p>Bucky took a deep breath.</p><p>“Ya know how some people are born in the wrong body?”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>Sam asked, throwing the shield at a tree. Bucky took another deep breath.</p><p>“I’m one of those people”</p><p>“So you were born a girl?”</p><p>“Yeah I was”</p><p>Bucky said feeling awkward</p><p>“Did Steve know?”</p><p>Sam asked as he went to retrieve the shield from it’s position on the ground against a tree.</p><p>“How could he not? ‘Best friends since childhood’ remember”</p><p>“Oh yeah, When did you start your transition?”</p><p>Bucky thought for a minute</p><p>“Honestly? After Pearl Harbour I sped up my transition. The start of my transition was probably when i was 20 and cut my hair short, i felt better with hair above my shoulders. After Pearl Harbour Steve started talking about joining the army so he could go fight”</p><p>“I’m guessing your line of thought was that you could take his place?”</p><p>Sam asked intrigued</p><p>“He was a 90bs asthmatic, the army wouldn’t have taken him. But I on the other hand was mostly flat chested and if I cut my hair super short i could pass as a man, so that’s how i joined the army”</p><p>“Honestly without you telling me i wouldn’t have guessed”</p><p>Sam said a little in shock, still practicing his technique with the shield.</p><p>“That’s kinda the point Sam”</p><p>“Who else knows?”</p><p>“The Howlies, Hydra after my capture, Peggy, SHIELD, Nat, Howard stark, Bruce, the Wakandans, and anyone else who read my leaked SHIELD files”</p><p>“Damn man”</p><p>“Yeah ever since getting my memories back its haunted me and with Steve gone I feel alone”</p><p>“How close were you guys really?”</p><p>“Married”</p><p>“What year?”</p><p>“End of 1937”</p><p>“Steve wasn’t even 21 by then”</p><p>“Nope, he was 19 but he needed the family support. I was the oldest of four”</p><p>“He had no one?”</p><p>Sam asked confused</p><p>“His ma died of TB after getting hit while working in a TB ward. Steve was 18 when she passed. His pa died in the trenches before Steve was born, according to Sarah the soldiers who came to give her their condolences when the war ended said he died in a mustard gas attack. His body never came back so he’s buried somewhere in Europe. The only real bump in the road was religion. He’s Catholic and I was raised Jewish. With the blessing of my parents and rabbi, and talking to his church’s priest I converted though I never really hated my roots.”</p><p>“So you made a religious sacrifice for him?”</p><p>“Yeah but with some of my family still in Europe, specifically Romania. I felt like if I wanted a voice I couldn’t be Jewish but I kept my star of David necklace. If I hadn’t lost it during the war, when I fell from the train, I would same with my rings”</p><p>“Don’t worry about it man. I believe you, guessing you’re a little broken up about him staying in the past”</p><p>“Yeah ‘Til the end of the line’ was our ‘I do’. I guess he’s decided that we have reached the end of the line”</p><p>“So you guys didn’t talk before he left?”</p><p>“Other than him promising to take me dancing? No”</p><p>“Didn’t he have a rain check to go dancing when he crashed into the ocean?”</p><p>“Son Of A - nope I can’t say that. Sarah was a saint. He went back to dance with that dame and decided to stay”</p><p>Bucky punched the wall as he spoke, leaving a fairly large hole. Sam winced at the punch but then had an idea.</p><p>“You could always go back and crash that dance”</p><p>“I wouldn’t want to scare Bruce like Steve did”</p><p>“I mean if you tell him your plan”</p><p>“I’d have to go back to being a girl”</p><p>“Would it make you happy to go back?”</p><p>Sam asked going into counsellor mode. Bucky thought for a while looking torn as he internally debated this. He made a decision after a few minutes.</p><p>“I mean yeah but i would explain the arm?”</p><p>“Drop Stark in it or say it’s confidential</p><p>Bucky laughed a little remembering the exhibition of tomorrow</p><p>“Howard couldn't even get a car to fly let alone make a prosthetic like this one. Wakanda was only knew to specific people, the shield is made of vibranium gifted to FDR by the Wakadans and FDR decided to for reasons that escape me gave it to stark and the SSR”</p><p>“Then its confidential, like highest level clearance”</p><p>“So many people won’t believe that I was a soldier”</p><p>“Deck them, show them who’s boss”</p><p>“I’d need to get new clothes”</p><p>Bucky sighed</p><p>“Back to dresses?”</p><p>“Some girls did wear pants just not many. The first lady wore a skirts and dresses”</p><p>“So girls were the expectations for girls”</p><p>“Yeah only when girls could work in factories or join the army was it acceptable for girls to wear pants”</p><p>“So you can wear them Sargent”</p><p>“True i’ll have to make my own clothes so we can make both.any military money i get when i go back will get put towards a new house which unlike our old apartment will be suitable and safe for two super soldiers”</p><p>Bucky said remembering how it was back then.</p><p>“Have you got family in the past?”</p><p>“My little sisters, I picked out Becca’s husband because I wanted to make sure she married a guy who would look after her and not hurt her. Jess and Jeanne were dating decent guys so I wasn’t really worried”</p><p>“So you were a great older sibling, I say go back to the past, reconnect with your sisters and crash that dance. Oh and help win the war before making a safe home for Steve to return to”</p><p>Sam said deciding to end the training session for the day so that they could sit and talk properly.</p><p>“Help me make the clothes to take back with me?”</p><p>“Yeah but if we are, we’re gonna use a sewing machine cos I’m no good at hand sewing, i’m shit at it”</p><p>“No shit, this arm isn’t gonna be easy to hand sew with”</p><p>“You could ask Shuri about that you know. I know this might sound odd but what was your dead name, the name you were given at birth?”</p><p>“Jamie Buchanan Barnes, well when we moved over from Romania. My Romanian records say Yasha Barnes, I didn’t have a middle name. Ma picked out my american name on the journey over. She loved American President James Buchanan hence why when i changed my first name i chose James when i started transitioning”.</p><p>Bucky said with a sense of pride but also sadness.</p><p>“Sounds understandable. So you were an immigrant, was Steve?”</p><p>“No he was born in the US but his parents were Irish immigrants, as i said earlier i never met his pa. Sarah though was a different story, she was a strong independent woman, you’ll never meet a better woman. She was a nurse as I said earlier. She did everything she could to keep up with Steve's health and keep a roof over their heads and food on the table”</p><p>“Let me guess, you guys discussed naming a daughter, if you ever had one, after her”</p><p>Sam asked knowingly</p><p>“Yeah we did, we wanted to keep her memory alive but put no pressure to live up to said memory“</p><p>Bucky felt a sense of pride in the idea</p><p>“That’s a great idea if the stories are true”</p><p>“She taught him how to fight not run from bullies, not a great idea admittedly but he’s a great guy because of her.</p><p>Both men started to get up from where they sat on the ground slowly</p><p>“Wanna tell the spider kid before you go? You know so he doesn’t freak out and feel abandoned by everyone he cares about and make sure he feels loved i guess”</p><p>“Yeah I will, he idolises me and Steve, I’ll have to make him promise not to tell anyone my secret like I did with Shuri and now you”</p><p>Bucky said agreeing with Sam as they began their way to the doors leading inside.</p><p>“I’ll find some vintage fabrics while you talk to the kid”</p><p>Bucky nodded and grabbed his keys from inside, before heading to find Peter while Sam went to buy fabrics.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>